As I said, I’ve slaughtered and killed animals before. I’ve slaughtered many chickens and ducks as is sadly customary to do in Kenya and in Africa in general. Even though I’ve slaughtered animals, my first vegan awakening happened the very last time I would ever kill an animal ever again.
Even though I had slaughtered animals before, this time when I was going to kill a duck and roast it for our family dinner, something different happened. Something very different, other than usual, happened. As I was cutting the ducks throat, I ended up in locked eye contact with my victim. I ended up in locked eye contact with the duck as I was killing her. I had never looked into the eyes of the other animals whilst I was killing them but this time something was different. It just so happened that we sort of almost by fate or “magically” caught eye contact.
As I took the knife and held the duck’s head back and started cutting her throat the duck and I looked at each other for at least 5 seconds. It was as if we got stuck in time looking into each other’s eyes. “Our eyes are the windows to the soul.” I could see in the duck’s eyes how innocent she was. I could see how the poor duck was literally begging me to stop causing her so much pain by cutting her throat. At the same time, she was wiggling frantically trying to be free. I could see in her eyes how she was pleading with me to stop. She had a curious wonder, a gaze looking at you and wondering why are you doing this to me, pleading please stop.
It was at this moment when we made eye contact that I realized that it was wrong to kill any animal. I felt so small, it was as if the universe snatched all my pride out from my entire being. It was at that moment when I saw deep down into the eyes of the duck, I saw the soul of the innocent being I was killing. Just thinking about it right now and writing about it puts me in tears. I could see in her eyes how she was begging me, literally begging me to stop causing her so much pain.
Still to this day, it saddens me. Just thinking about it and then also remembering all the other animals I’ve killed makes me cringe and shiver. Sometimes I wish the universe would even just eradicate or take away the images from my mind, the images of how I saw into the duck’s eyes begging me to stop killing her. I can’t believe that I was such a cruel human being taking the lives of other innocent beings just to fill my own stomach.
From that moment on, I didn’t go vegan straight away or even vegetarian, that came later, but I stopped slaughtering and killing animals. I will never forget what happened or get the eyes of the duck out of my mind and will have to live it for the rest of my life. I killed another living being whilst she was staring me dead in the eyes pleading for me to stop.
I’m glad that I’m vegan today. veganism is the best thing that ever happened to me. Don’t ever hesitate to go vegan just because you may think that you are a horrible person for eating meat or for causing or contributing to animal abuse. We have all done bad things in our lives. It’s time for us to do better and spread love and compassion. Ask the universe for forgiveness and take a step towards becoming a better human being and go vegan so we can help stop animal abuse together.
“All beings deserve to live. Look in their eyes. They have a soul just like you. You are the spirit or the soul that exists in the body you have. The same applies to animals. The only difference between us and animals is, we all have different body types to walk around here on Earth on this physical plane. We are all spiritual beings having a physical worldly experience in different types of bodies.” – Toto Wanje
